a transitioning house

We are approaching 5 weeks being married. 

I didn't set up expectations that we would have XYZ accomplished in the first 2 weeks, the first month, or the first 3 months of our marriage. Honestly, I had no schedule or goal expectations beyond our wedding date, the week we would be on our honeymoon, and a close friend's wedding in September. That is as far as I've thought ahead...for a long time.

Since I didn't have expectations, I'm not really operating with shame or disappointment towards myself for not achieving certain things...But I have noticed that I'm frustrated on about a weekly basis about how much of a disaster our home becomes every week. And I'm a little annoyed that this is a weekly occurrence.

The disaster includes the regular, everyday disorderliness--like dirty dishes filling the sink and not being caught up on the laundry--but also goes beyond these more simple things. It seems like every week we're having to do some sort of drastic organization and reorganization project just to get the house back to a normal level of function.

For example, last week I went to the living room with Joshua Becker's minimalism book in hand and was ready to eradicate all unnecessary items and do a thorough job organizing the space. I completed this task no problem. I also managed to find a new frame for a painting we love & planned how we'd set up shelves & how we'd do some other artwork when the budget allows. Though the living room wasn't "complete" that evening because of those future projects, it was comfortable, attractive, and functional. I thought we'd be good to go for the weeks to come, besides an occasional declutter. 

Yet, less than a week later, we're back at a barely-functioning level in the living room. We were graciously (but unexpectedly) gifted a set of bookshelves and a couple dozen new books which we were happy to receive but we don't have a proper home for yet. So they've been in the middle of the room ever since and more and more things have accumulated around them as it gets more and more cumbersome to navigate the living room. The week before it was something similar. And the week prior to that it was like this too.

We're not bad at keeping a house. I'm not a bad wife. But I keep stopping to wonder what is going on here?

Spoken Bride answered my question with this post: My House is a Place of Transition. As much as I grateful for the new stability I've found (as written in my last post) and am looking forward to more stability in the future as we get more settled, there are still many things that will be in constant transition...our home is one of them.

I loved the emphasis in this post that our homes don't need to be "picture perfect," "ready," or "complete" to be places of comfort and solace to our families and our guests. Obviously, we need to reach (and hopefully maintain) a functioning level in our home -- but it doesn't have to be perfect to be good. 

I need to practice a little bit of an attitude shift when it comes to us keeping our house. First we need to achieve a working-level of order...so we have forks for every meal and can walk through our living room. After that, if there is time, energy, and resources to spare, then we can work towards the increasing beauty and warmth of our home. But regardless of where we're at with the home, I have be at peace with the fact that just as our lives are constantly ebbing and flowing, our home will too--sometimes in major ways, sometimes in minor--but either way, having a transitioning house is ok.